The level of skepticism after a painful divorce is normally high (understandably so), but even with remarriage after divorce is still exceptionally high. So why are future relationships so difficult?
For different couples, this degree of mistrust is present in multiple forms.
Any partners will reach a “hyper-arousal” mode while they are beyond their comfort zone, mentally, physically, or psychologically.
I want to reassure you that it’s sadly quite “normal,” as “normal” as this might all feel.
Your heart has known the misery before. It is only natural that you have some doubts about your new partner. You are moving into a new friendship.
The idea that our brain works in survival mode when it is “triggered” is another reassurance.
If a spouse or you have undergone a stressful occurrence that may involve a previously collapsing marriage or a committed relationship, what the reasons are is crucial.
They will become hostile in their actions towards their partner, a bit hyperactive in that situation, too talkative, and some situations hostile.
Triggers can be something that reminds you or prompts your brain to think over previous accidents.
Your ex-husband could be a shirt when he first screamed at you and ten years later you are ready to go out to the second husband on a date and he comes out of the room with this exact shirt.
It’s advised to take a deep breath first before your brain forces your instincts to respond. Then let your husband know politely that he looks like he is constantly sweating and inquiring.
Listen to him and why you’re activating this shirt.
Remarriage after divorce can be complicated and complicated. These are situations that I call “complexities” and they are resolved. Toward your particular “complexities,” we will together find the best solution.
The Guttmann Institute recognizes as “accepting the influence of your partner” one aspect that is most challenging for coupled people and very necessary for a healthy relationship.